How Parents can Educate Genius or Not

The Tibetan Fair, one of the great musical/cultural/spiritual events of the year, was just starting up on a beautiful spring day at Live Oak Park in Berkeley, California. As Matt approached he could feel the rhythms reshaping him.

His pace slowed, and he finally stopped ten feet from the Tibetan welcome table piled high with flags, goods, clothing and literature. He just listened and let the music transport him. Continue reading

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Turn Power Struggles into Emotional Intelligence

When Margaret was having trouble with one of her second graders she discovered a technique that helped her turn power struggles into lessons in emotional intelligence. The liberating line was: “You are a comedian, aren’t you?”

The same technique worked like magic with her eight-month-old son, Musa. She told me this story: Continue reading

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How Parents and Teachers Can Get Bad Results with “High Expectations” for Children?

What Does it Mean to have High Expectations for Children?

All the research shows (what our intuition knows) that children rise to our expectations of them. The work of Carol Dweck reinforces this wisdom. Continue reading

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How to see Parenting as Leadership. (Hint #1 Don’t Underestimate Children.)

One day, Suzanne said to her five-year-old niece Emma, “My that is a beautiful stuffed lion you have there.”

“I know, I saw it in the store and Mommy bought it for me.”

“That’s nice.”

“Yes. Well, she wasn’t going to.”


“No. She wasn’t going to,” she said. “So I went,” and screwing up her face she acted out, “Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!” then said, “She took it off the shelf and bought it for me.”

“Huh,” replied Suzanne, hiding her smile. She was delighted by this window into the workings and self-awareness of this delightful five-year old brain.

Later that day in the kitchen Suzanne was talking to her sister and started to tell the story Continue reading

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