Dana and His Mother: Two Agendas

Look who’s going on a journey

Look who isn’t.
For months before his first trip
All eyes and ears, Dana gathered data,
Taking statistics
Like a data vacuum cleaner.
Six weeks ago he tested his new apparatus for the first time.
Now, all systems GO, he’s on his journey.
Let the games begin.

Does this tweak your heart to ponder something?

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Baby Begins to Search the World

A blog post entitled:  “Let’s get that baby moving! Part 2” is an example of parent education one might call “Helicopter Training.”

Watch the last 2 minutes of this seven minute video of a 9-month-old baby. What do you see? Continue reading

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Positive Parenting vs Being a Parent = Reality Parenting

Reality Parenting

Bob and Carol have a blended family with two children each. Carol’s son Ben at 13 is the oldest of the four. Both parents work, so one of the challenges they have is having family time, all six of them together. Another challenge is finding time to be alone—just the two of them.

One Sunday, recently, Ben was ragging on his mother Continue reading

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The Terrible Twos: Children’s Self-Determination and Four Lessons for Parents

If parents understand the “terrible twos” as a developmental stage for parents as well as children, they can take parenting to the next level and keep supporting their children’s drive for self-determination. Continue reading

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Parental Authority: Do You Have It?

 Talk So Your Kids Will Listen

“I listen to my father because I have found that he tells me things that turn out to be true,” said Allison (18 year old high school senior) as I drove her home from the basketball game the Wednesday after the Saturday night party where some of her classmates got into trouble, getting drunk and trashing the house of a classmate. “Like ‘Never go out without money,’ he says.” Continue reading

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Kindergarten Readiness: Parent Strategy for Best Results.

A very reliable way of assessing children’s readiness for kindergarten is to bring twelve four-and-a-half-year-olds together for a one-hour mock kindergarten class. A teacher greets parent and child at the door, and the parent says good-bye. Most of the time the children leave their parents happily and launch off into what for them is a super play-date. Continue reading

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Entitlement and the Pursuit of Happiness

“I just want him to be happy” is the most natural thing for a parent to say; it can also be the most dangerous. Life has unhappiness built in. If it’s not one thing it will be another. We want to spare our children. We want to protect them from pain and rescue them from suffering. This is completely understandable, but it is not particularly constructive. In fact, it is self-defeating. The pursuit of happiness makes happiness increasingly elusive. Continue reading

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Was It Character Building?

Character Building

Before the war (as my parents used to say) “character building” was a good thing. In the 50’s and 60’s when something was hard, educators could say to us students, “Just do it. It’s character building.” 
They must have misused the expression, or used in once too often, or something.  Because, today, character building seems to have become something we wouldn’t wish on our worst enemy. Continue reading

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Who Takes Responsibility for Homework? What is the Parent’s Role?

Even though parents and teachers are both educators, things will work better if parents and teachers play different roles. A year ago Lorrie Soria told the following story in a comment on one of my posts about homework. I read it again this morning and decided it stands on its own two feet as a great story about “playing position.”

Years ago, when my daughter was in 3rd grade, homework was indeed a struggle. Continue reading

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The Invincible Thirty-Something and the Three Joys of Parenting a Difficult Child

“You were a difficult child,” my mother said to me in one of the last few conversations we had before she died.

“I know,” I replied, and we held hands. Continue reading

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